Thunderstorms or a calm, continuously raining day.
It stirs my soul. Makes my heart to race at unimaginable speed at one second or work so slowly as if the body does not need the heart to beat at all.
No! Its not that I am afraid of the sound of lightnings. I never have been.
But whenever it rains, I get anxious. I feel as if a lot of things are running at the speed of light in my mind. I feel suffocated and depressed. Even if a second before everything was fine, the moment it begins raining, my brain completely reverses the thinking process.
There are people who feel pretty calm when it rains. In fact there are many who get relieved of their pain when it rains.
And it’s completely opposite here.
The reason being my own nature of feeling every thing to the very depth of its existence. Over thinking, what they term it. Though sometimes I do think beyond what is required, but not always.
And this rainy day makes me feel as if something isn’t right with the sky. Specially those rains which come silently and lasts for days. It feels as if the sky is upset. So much so that it’s not able to keep control of itself.
Those winter rains in India, in the month of February. If it begins raining then, it rains continuously. And It stirs my own thought process. The one which I avoid as there is no solution to it other than to keep it going parallely..
It makes me think about how helpless one feels sometimes. So much so that you are not able to keep everything inside and you burst into tears. Not being able to find a solution, sometimes we choose to vent out through the actual way how it should be.
True, that crying isn’t a solution. At least not a permanent one. Crying in public, especially, brands you as a timid person not being strong enough to face the practical world. Nobody loves the one who cries too soon. Nobody wants to bear such a burden, everyday.
But do we have a permanent solution for everything? Crying in solace or in front of a close friend makes you emotionally stable. Keeps you going fine. Let’s you do all the necessary things to be alive and to achieve your goals.
And somewhere it also helps you to pamper your own heart to keep up your own pace of finding solutions to things which are not right.
So does the sky do. It vents out through rain and then comes a shiny bright sunshine filled day after it. When everything seems fine and beautiful.
And the world feels relieved and happy with the change.
Though the sky stays where it was, with her own incomplete inner self, but keeps smiling bright. Because this is how everyone wants it to be.
And I too come back to normal mode 🙂